MR. MANDELEPHANT BRING$ IT

 Random Story:

Stop three of my grandiose trek from Cairns down to Melbourne was on this heap called Magnetic Island.  I had initially surmised it’s “Magnetism” was to somehow add an air of “dopeness” to it’s vibe… didn’t really.  Attractions included a koala sanctuary and a cheap scuba school, neither of which I was all that stoked on.  I was staying at this hostel called X-Base, which was alright, but no where near as good as Scotty’s in Mission Beach.One morning I wake up to this chick asking if she can come in to clean my room, which was clearly fine with me.  Her name was Carmen (I think she’s on my facebook if you wanna stalk etc…), 18 years old… German.  Ultimately what our conversation led to was me explaining to her that I couldn’t drive standard (manual, stick whatever…) and her offering to teach me.  Important things to remember here are: I can’t drive stick, I’ve never driven on the “other-side” and neither has she.  The goal was to rent a little dinky go-cart type auto that I think was called a moke and was in essence a mini Mini.  I very unfortunately ended up pussing out when 1) my credit card was on the line 2) peeps under 21 weren’t insured 3) I’d known her for like 5 hours 4) She didn’t actually have her driver’s license.  I ended up going for the automatic, which was most definitely a good call since driving on the left was weird enough without the added difficulty of shifting.

It’s 4 months later and even though I’ve been driving for a good six years at this point… I still can’t drive a real man car.

Alas, my other lasting memory of Magnetic Island was my Australian DJ endeavor #1. It entailed me playing music with Live off my laptop for a few hours during a bin bag competition (that’s what Australians call garbage bags).  Bottom line it was likely the worst DJing experience I’ve ever had since the music was continually interrupted by obnoxious drunken directives for what to do next in whatever drunken game was being played.  On top of that people wanted Justin Timberlake and Warren G, which wasn’t really in the repertoire for the evening.  Either way I stepped down early and cashed in on my 30$ bar tab and free night’s accommodation for less than two hours on the digi-digi.  Learned a couple of interesting things about DJing by sucking that night: the crowd IS the bottom line, BUT if people have Mix Master Mario taste and they get Mr. Mandelephant flavor… they might be… dissatisfied… 

I have a friend out here called Yesh who once described the deterioration of one’s brain cells due to lack stimulation as: The Mavis.  I’ve got a serious case of web dev mavis at the moment… so the blog is going to be kept REAL simple.  Until I relearn everything I’ve forgotten, no fanciness… I’ve been wasting huge time trying to figure things out haphazardly… If it’s going to be done… at some point… it should be done right.  

What the eff am I talking about… I don’t know. 

For any of you out there who know me, you know how much I love Mark Morrison’s Return of the Mack.  If you ever came and visited me in my apt while I was back in monty, I very likely played the it on the decks at least once in your company. Thanks to Get Weird Turn Pro’s exquisite taste, I’ve discovered a KILLER remix of this bar mitzvah classic. If this isn’t keeping it real, then nothing is. Thank you Josh Harris, thank you. You beat me to the punch on this one, and I’m oh so pleased.

Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack (Josh Harris Remix)

Here dem gems:

1. Money In The Bag (Sharam Jey Remix) - Kraak & Smaak
2. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk
3. D.A.N.C.E (Tittsworth Remix) - Justice
4. Born Slippy (Plump DJs Bootleg Remix) - Underworld / Gloria - Van Morrison
5. Tobacco Club Action (Yo Majesty vs. Bonde do Role vs. Alice In Chains) - A+D
6. Denmark - Chemical Brothers
7. I See You Baby - Groove Armada
8. Sleep Deprivation (Mandelephant’s Like Whoa! Blend) - Simian Mobile Disco
9. Fancy Footwork - Chromeo
10. Pro Nails - Kid Sister
11. Pop The Glock (Curtis Vodka Remix) - Uffie
12. Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
13. Over and Over - Hot Chip / Put That Pussy On Me - Spank Rock
14. Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix) - Metric
15. Girlfriend (Junkie XL Remix) - Avril Lavigne
16. Double Shadow - Junior Boys
17. Where’s You’re Head At - Basement Jaxx
18. Top Billin’ From Far Left - Spank Rock
19. Fresh Pressure - Mandelephant

Any questions?  Comment or inquire! 

let me ask you friend… don’t you fuckin’ hate it when you’re gettin’ your groove on somewhere and some bitch rubs a stanky fart off in your face throwin’ you right off your vibe?

OR 

are you the one who get’s great pleasure from ripping one hard and bringing the pain to all of those around you?  either way i don’t judge because i know the truth… you’ve been in both camps.  when you’re hammered and dancing you just can’t keep those poppers locked.  fine.  

and so i dedicate this first post and it’s accompanying mixtape to you. being my first contribution into the wild world of audiobloggery,  it is aptly named to get your booty burps going.  check the child right hur:

the dance floor fart machine version 0.69 

unnecessary track list image coming soon.

word turds.